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19 February 2010 @ 07:29 pm
Entry 13 - FF - 10  

Title: Be Specific
Rating: PG-13 for some language and nakedness.
Genre: Failed Crack
Summary: When Yunho tells Changmin to make a wish, he simply wants to go back in time and for all the members to be together. Sounds nice and sweet right? But he wasn’t very specific. So he goes back alright. To the past where Junsu is king, soccer is deadly, Yoochun is all around a pimp, Junsu and Changmin have to get naked, poor Yunho is rather neglected, and history is thoroughly mangled.
Warnings: None. General mangling of history is all. Don’t worry though; I do have a degree in history. I’m allowed to do this. ;)
Thanks: To my awesome beta and crack dealer who shall be properly credited with the reveal! ^^
And a quick history lesson: Both the American Revolution and the Civil War were fought on American soil. The American Revolution was fighting against the British (Redcoats) and the Civil war was the North (blue uniforms) against the South (in gray). America did not fight the French in either one. The Boston Tea Party was protest and prelude to the Revolution, while the burning of Charleston took place during the Civil War.

Be Specific

“Okay make a wish!”

Yunho is being entirely too enthusiastic about this. Changmin is tired, and he wants to go to bed. He just finished filming and came home to a dark apartment, where he was immediately pounced on by his hyperactive hyung. Who was holding a cake. A cake that looked suspiciously heart shaped but Changmin could care less. It’s always better just to do as Yunho says. He’s easier to get rid of that way.

“Hurry up! The candles are going to melt all over the cake.”

Changmin takes a breath and prepares to blow out the candles but is quickly knocked on the head by Yunho. How he could do that and keep the cake from falling, Changmin has no idea. His leader is a man of many talents.

“You have to close your eyes first Changmin-ah! And make a wish. You have to make a wish.” Changmin starts mumbling something about Yunho spending too much time around Jaejoong’s one touching self, but Yunho ignores him and stands there bouncing on the balls of his feet expectantly.

Yunho must have bought two cakes Changmin decides. And he already consumed the first one, resulting in this sugar high. He hasn’t been this childish in a long time. Not since last summer actually. This thought prompts Changmin to take another breath and actually close his eyes.

I want to go back in time. I want us to all be together. That’s all.

As soon as Changmin blows out the candles, Yunho puts the cake down and turns on the lights. With the lights on, he can see that the cake was not only heart-shaped, but also pink. Luckily it does say ‘Happy Birthday’ so it probably isn’t a leftover Valentine’s cake. The cake looks good, but despite the fact that he’s almost always hungry, he really doesn’t want any right now. All he wants is his bed.

“I’ll eat some later hyung; I’m going to bed now.”

Yunho turns back to look at him from where he is about to cut the cake, plastic knife in hand, looking confused, “What? You don’t want any? Are you sure? Did you have some earlier on set? I knew I should have gone for pizza. You always eat pizza.”

Changmin chuckles a little at Yunho’s rambling. He can be so cute sometimes. Not that he would say that to his face. Yunho uses his cuteness enough against them already. And everyone thinks Leader-sshi is so serious. They don’t have to live with him and have the cuteness and the whining used against them all the time. Really, their leader puts up a good front, but he’s nothing more than a five year old. That’s why he always gets along so well with children.

“Yeah. I’m tired. And I really don’t feel like eating cake right now. Or pizza. Maybe tomorrow.”

Yunho’s face falls, and Changmin can’t help but feel bad for disappointing him like that. Most likely, Yunho had planned to have cake and maybe a little alcohol of some sort and stay up half the night. Like they usually did. But usually, Jaejoong is the one pouncing on him, Junsu is loudly singing Happy Birthday, Yoochun is laughing at Junsu’s English, and Yunho is pretending to keep everyone in line. At least until they can cut the cake. Tonight though, Changmin is tired and doesn’t feel like going through the motions. Not when those other three were who knows where; probably forgetting it’s his birthday altogether. Bastards.

“Okay then. We’ll eat it tomorrow, I guess. Are you sure you don’t want just a little now?”

“Yeah. I’ve got filming early in the morning. Sorry to ruin your plans.”

Yunho gives him a small smile. “Don’t worry, it’s your birthday, you can celebrate it however you like. We can eat cake tomorrow and I’ll get some pizza too. How does that sound? You don’t have late filming do you?’

“No. It sounds good. Thanks hyung. I’m just going to go to bed now.” And with that, he turns and heads towards his room where he thinks about taking a shower, but decides it can wait until the morning. All he wants to do right now is sleep. He climbs into bed and doesn’t even remember his head hitting the pillow. If only he knew what awaited him in his dreams.

The next thing he knows, an urgent, but familiar voice is urging him to get up, “Wake up! You’ve got to meet the king in fifteen minutes!” This is accompanied by annoying shaking, his least favorite way to be woken up. Changmin is usually one of the first ones up, having none of Yoochun’s or even Junsu’s issues. He has never tried to film anything holding the camera backwards after just waking up, that’s for certain. Usually however, no one is waking him up with ridiculous statements about meeting the king. So if he takes a moment longer than usual to open his eyes, he thinks it is perfectly justifiable. Obviously, the one shaking him doesn’t think so.

“I know you’re awake. I’ve been with you for seven years now. You can’t fool me dongsaeng.” Changmin cracks his eyes open a little at this statement. Dongsaeng? And that voice is way more than a little familiar. But how? He opens his eyes fully to see that his ears aren’t playing tricks on him. Jaejoong is standing over him, wearing one of the more ridiculous things Changmin’s ever seen him wear.

“Are you listening to me?” he says. “You have to meet the king in ten minutes now. And you still need to be dressed. Hurry and get out of bed so we can get these clothes on you.”

Changmin has never felt more confused; even if he is used to just doing whatever their manager tells them. “What are you talking about? What’s going on?” he asks.

Jaejoong is busy gathering some pieces of clothing and ignores his questions, telling him to stand up. Changmin manages to get out of bed and stand, but he is not prepared for the next thing out of Jaejoong’s mouth when he turns around.

“Alright, now strip.”


“Are you going deaf or something? I hit you in the head one too many times? I promise, I’ll try to refrain in the future. And we’ll work on a hearing aid for you or something. Now strip. We’re running out of time to figure out how to get you into this contraption.” Jaejoong is tapping his foot now, a sure sign of annoyance. Changmin is just staring at him trying to figure out exactly what is going on. He doesn’t really mind getting naked in front of Jaejoong, the man already has pictures of him showering saved on his phone for his viewing pleasure, but Jaejoong did not normally order him to strip before he took pictures. Maybe this was part of a plan. Jaejoong was tired of steamy, out of focus, hasty shower shots, so he was going to cut to the chase and just make Changmin strip for him.

“Is this a plot to get me naked and take pictures?”

“I would not be your servant if it was.”

“You could be. You’re a kinky little thing.” Jaejoong shoots him a dirty look, which Changmin chooses to ignore. They lived together for seven years; it wasn’t like Jaejoong could deny his statement. Changmin had proof. Jaejoong might have the naked pictures of him in the shower, but Changmin had some quality video from one time he left his camera on in Jaejoong’s room without Jaejoong knowing it was there. Then Jaejoong’s previous statement really hits him. “Hey wait, you’re my servant? Like actual servant? You have to do everything for me?” he asks.

Jaejoong rolls his eyes. “We really don’t have time for this. Yes, I am your servant; no you cannot order me to do everything for you. I’ll revolt. And you won’t like it. The important thing right now though is you need to strip so that I can get you dressed to go meet the king.” Jaejoong tells him. “So get to it. Start stripping. Now.”

Changmin can’t really argue with that tone of voice, so he starts taking off clothes. While he does so, he tries to actually get an answer from Jaejoong about what is going on

“You my dear, made a wish.” Jaejoong tells him. “It was a wish for us all to be together. And to go back to the past. Unfortunately, you did not specify how we were to be together and what past you wanted to go to. So now here we are, in the past. I don’t know exactly when. I think we’re in England and it could be the Middle Ages for all I know. I had other things to do in history class besides pay attention and do all of my homework.” Jaejoong pauses, “And before you ask, no I don’t know where the others are. I’ve been a little busy, since I am your servant. Thanks for that by the way.” Jaejoong is holding up something that looks suspiciously like women’s hose.

Changmin is almost scared to ask, but he needs to know. “Um, what are those? Am I supposed to wear them? And why are you thanking me for being a servant?”

“Haven’t you heard of sarcasm? Aren’t you supposed to be our snarky little maknae?” Jaejoong asks him. Changmin just gives him a look. There is way too much on his mind right now to have to process sarcasm and have it used against him. Luckily, Jaejoong decides not to push him any further and tells him, “This is a product of your mind. Your wish. So somewhere in your little mind you imagined me being a servant. Specifically your servant. So thanks for that. I always knew you were a sick little dongsaeng and wanted me under you.”

Changmin has to smile at the face Jaejoong is making now. “Yeah maybe. But I was thinking more literally. With you being the naked one. I suppose this works though. I could just order you to get naked since you have to listen to me.”

Jaejoong sees Changmin’s mind working in its evil ways and decides to stop him before it goes any further. “Yes well you can imagine those things all you want. I already told you I won’t do everything you say. And right now, you have to listen to me.” He holds up the hose. “Put this on.” He throws them to Changmin and then starts picking through the rest of the clothes.

“Are you sure I’m supposed to wear all of that hyung?” Changmin asks.

Jaejoong shrugs, “No clue. You should have been a little smarter about picking your servant I suppose.”

Changmin cringes. He’s not only stuck in some weird past where Jaejoong is his servant and the other three are running free somewhere, but he’s going to look like a freak. Even if Jaejoong knew how to dress him, Changmin’s pretty sure he would screw it up just so he could laugh at him. Why did his subconscious have to pick such a spiteful member to be his servant?

It takes more than the ten minutes Jaejoong said they had to get him dressed, but Changmin is eventually able to follow Jaejoong towards the throne room. Or at least, he thinks they’re headed towards the throne room. Jaejoong didn’t know how to dress him, so Changmin’s not really sure how he knows to get to the throne room.

After ten minutes of what seems like walking in circles, Jaejoong stops suddenly in front of two large wooden doors. Changmin, who stopped paying attention to where they were going after passing the same statue for the third time, runs straight into his back. Jaejoong quickly turns around and one-touches him, much to the confusion of the guards. Changmin yelps.

“Hey! I thought I was supposed to be the one in charge here. What are you hitting me for?”

Jaejoong shrugs. “Sorry,” his voice is anything but apologetic, “habit.” He takes a minute to straighten out Changmin’s clothes and then tells him, “All right, now they’re going to open the doors and you are going to be introduced to the king. Ready?”

Changmin can’t help but stare. He’s going to be introduced to the king? The king of what? He’s barely figured out what country they’re in and now he has to go fool someone into thinking he actually knows what’s going on? Acting in his drama was a piece of cake compared to this. He has no idea what’s expected of him. So he appeals to Jaejoong.

“Hyung. I promise, I’ll actually be a good dongsaeng for a week or two,” here he uses the pouty face he learned from Yunho, “but you have to help me here. What am I supposed to do?” He can see the wheels turning in Jaejoong’s head, trying to decide whether or not to help. But in the end, not even Yunho’s pouty face can help.

Jaejoong would love to be able to help him, he really would. An obedient Changmin, even for a week would be a wonderful thing, but the truth is, he doesn’t know what’s going on either. “Sorry Changmin-ah. I’m still hoping I dressed you correctly, so I definitely have no idea what you should do when the doors open. Just be nice to the other kids and you’ll be fine,” is Jaejoong’s only advice.

Changmin would have given him a nice reply to that one, but apparently the guards were tired of waiting for this strange noble-servant pair and decided to get them moving. Changmin and Jaejoong find that all of a sudden the doors are opening and they are faced with a long red carpet leading to the king. And as Changmin’s eyes follow the carpet up to the smiling face of the king, he thinks for the first time since his vision surgery that the doctor had to have screwed up something somewhere. Jaejoong behind him though confirms that his eyes aren’t tricking him.

“Oh shit,” is all Jaejoong can say.

“Hyung. Please tell me that’s not who I think it is?” Changmin begs him.

Jaejoong only shakes his head. “I did tell you we’d all be here in some way or another. You were the one that wanted us all together.”

“But what kind of delusional universe would make Junsu king?” Changmin has to ask. He can’t stop staring at the throne. Junsu is still smiling and even beckoning him forward now.

Jaejoong gives him a push to snap him out of his shock. “Yours apparently. This is the Age of Divine Right and you are the one who pledged allegiance to Junsuism. Therefore, you gave Junsu his mandate, and now he’s king. Way to go dongsaeng.”

“Shit.” How is it that Jaejoong knows all of this but he can’t even tell him what country they’re in or how to introduce himself?

“Exactly right. This is why I’m an atheist. We would not have this problem in my universe,” Jaejoong mutters.

Changmin snorts. “Yeah, yours would be an anarchy.”

Jaejoong glares at him and shoves him a little harder through the open doors this time. “Start walking master. Everyone is waiting on you.”

Suddenly the center of everyone’s attention, Changmin gulps. Some people think singing in front of a few thousand people is something to be nervous over. Changmin has to disagree. Walking down a red carpeted aisle, in front of all sorts of nobility, towards the king who was just laughing at him (the bastard) is definitely more nerve-wracking. The only comfort is hearing people whispering about his insolent servant who keeps pushing him forward and what they would do to put him in his place. They are quite creative actually. Changmin wishes he had a pen to write down their ideas for later. He’d have to nix their ideas for tying Jaejoong up though; he’d enjoy that too much.

When he finally reaches the throne Junsu has thrown on his charisma face. Changmin’s ears pick up a familiar laughter in the background but he is too worried about what he is supposed to do to figure out just who that laughter belongs to. Junsu is just sitting there, not helping him at all. Jaejoong, seeing that this is quickly going to turn into a staring contest, that the king will probably lose if past history is anything to go by, decides to give Changmin a discreet signal. A swift kick to the back of Changmin’s knee does the trick and he is kneeling in front of the king. Jaejoong supposes that’s good enough; it will work for Junsu at least.

When Jaejoong kicks the back of his knee, Changmin has to bite his tongue to keep from yelling out. If they weren’t in the middle of the throne room with everyone staring at them, his hyung would be getting the one-touching of his life. Confucius never lived wherever the heck they are; age will not save him now. Junsu starts to speak however, saving Jaejoong from whatever Changmin might have come up with.

“Ah, Viscount Changmin,” once again, Changmin swears he hears a familiar laugh at Junsu’s mangled pronunciation of Viscount, “how nice of you to finally join us. I was wondering if you were planning to arrive before we headed to the dining room. It would be horrible manners if you were late to your own welcome dinner.”

”I’m very sorry Ju-” a swift pinch to his side, “your majesty. My servant here has a little trouble following orders. It took a little while for him to prepare me.” Changmin ignores the lewd joke coming from behind him after that statement and focuses all of his attention on Junsu, who is talking to him again.

“Oh really? I know of someone who is in need of a male servant and could straighten him out for you. Maybe you two could reach an agreement for a trade. He keeps having to give away his female servants, as they get too attached. He’ll be sitting with us at dinner; you can talk with him then.”

Changmin nods, wondering if Junsu is serious. While he does have plans to torture Jaejoong when they get out of the spotlight, he doesn’t mean to actually give him away. Who knows what these lechers would do to his hyung if he left Jaejoong with one of them. Jaejoong only enjoys torture when furry handcuffs are involved and Changmin is pretty sure those haven’t been invented yet. Maybe he’ll have a chance to talk to Junsu at dinner before he introduces him to whomever it is he has in mind for Jaejoong. Right now though, everyone seems to be moving and court is breaking up. Changmin looks to Jaejoong for direction, but as usual, he looks just as clueless as Changmin feels. They’re saved, however, when Junsu gets up and brings his (literally) royal ass down the stairs to where they stand.

“It’s time for dinner now. The dining room is just down the hall and we’ll be sitting at the high table,” Junsu whispers. “You’re lucky I was able to get you a seat. I think I might have offended the Duke of Lancaster by making him sit somewhere else, but I figure we’ll be out of here before I have to deal with him again.” he says, then turns and leads them out of the room.

They follow him to the dining room where he leads them to the table on top of the dais. It’s then that Changmin is finally able to identify the familiar laughter he’s been hearing. He really should have caught on when he heard the laughter over Junsu’s mangled pronunciation.

“Yoochunnie!” Changmin has to put a hand out to stop Jaejoong from running and pouncing on Yoochun. “You can’t go running up there. You’re a servant remember?” he whispers. “How’s it going to look if my servant runs up there and pounces on the Duke of whatever he is?”Jaejoong makes a face, but can’t argue with that logic. Besides, he has to try to stay on Changmin’s good side now so that Changmin won’t actually give him away.

Junsu laughs at their exchange and tells Jaejoong he’s welcome to follow them up there, but he’ll have to stand behind Changmin, ready to get him anything that he wants. Jaejoong nods sullenly and follows them to their seats. Junsu sits at the middle of the table, with Yoochun and Changmin on either side. On Yoochun’s other side is a lady of the court who might or might not be feeling Yoochun up under the table. Changmin decides he really doesn’t want to know. These tights are decidedly too thin for his liking.

“Nice job there in the throne room Changminnie. You looked like you were about to pee yourself when they opened the doors. You better be glad Jaejoong hyung was there to push you down the aisle and help you out,” Yoochun says.

Behind him Jaejoong is fluttering at the praise but Changmin only scoffs. “You call that helping? He didn’t know what I was supposed to be wearing or how to put it on me, led me in circles around the castle until he finally managed to find the throne room by accident, pushed me down the aisle and then kicked my knees out from under me so that I would bow!” he rants.

Yoochun laughs. “And? How is that any different from how he normally treats you?” Junsu joins Yoochun in laughter and Changmin scowls at both of them. He is saved from further embarrassment by the arrival of food at their table. None of it looks appetizing in the least to Changmin, and from the looks on Junsu and Yoochun’s faces they agree. Jaejoong peeks over Changmin’s shoulder and makes a face before returning to his position. It’s a good place to be if it means he doesn’t have to eat that meal.

Junsu looks to both sides, quickly whispering, “Make it look like you’re eating some of it at least. I can find us something else later. Or we can order Jaejoong hyung to go make us something.” An indignant squawk comes from behind them, but they ignore it. Jaejoong may complain, but he would never let them go hungry.

They pick through their dinners rather silently until Changmin remembers Junsu’s earlier statement and has to ask, “Junsu hyung, who did you have in mind for Jaejoong hyung?”

Junsu starts to laugh, almost choking on the water he just took a sip of. Yoochun is just staring at him blankly while Jaejoong’s fingers come at him from behind, which he quickly slaps away. “That?” Junsu asks. “Well I was talking about Yoochun actually. His ladies are getting a bit too frisky, so I thought he might benefit from a male servant who wouldn’t give in to his charms.”

Changmin holds back his laughter, “And you thought Jaejoong hyung fit that profile? The only difference would be he’d be the one with Yoochun wrapped around his finger.”

Jaejoong pops in from behind, too quickly for Changmin to stop this time. “Hey I don’t mind that arrangement,” he says. “You could find yourself a nice obedient servant then.” Jaejoong’s smile is far too innocent for Changmin to fall for it.

“I’m sure you don’t. But you won’t be going to him. You would enjoy it too much.” Jaejoong pouts. “But what about Yoochun’s girl problems?”

Changmin looks over to Yoochun, who has currently abandoned their conversation in favor of paying attention to the lady beside him. Junsu also turns to look and gives him a slap on the thigh when he sees what’s going on. Changmin sighs. “I’m sure if Yoochun hyung would keep his hands to himself a little more and tone down with the grease, he wouldn’t have as many problems.”

Yoochun looks completely unapologetic . “What can I say. They like me. I’m an unmarried man with a title. Around here, that’s the same as being a member of one of the hottest boybands in Asia at home. Everyone wants me.” Beside him the lady giggles, and Changmin isn’t even sure she knows what’s going on with all the air in her head, but giggling is always an appropriate reaction for girls it seems. Personally, it gets on Changmin’s nerves.

“Besides,” Yoochun continues, “Junsu’s room is too hard to get in to, you haven’t been here, neither has Jaejoong, and no one knows where our esteemed leader is.”

Yoochun seems much more knowledgeable about wherever this is that they’ve been dropped into than Jaejoong. Of course, just about anyone would when compared to his useless servant. Who is currently trying to sneak over to Yoochun’s side. Changmin decides to give up keeping him in line for now. Jaejoong is like a boomerang with ADD. He may wander and go to random places, but he always comes back in the end. Instead, he turns his attention back to Yoochun.

“How long have you been here exactly Yoochun hyung?” he asks. “You know quite a lot about this.”

Yoochun shrugs. “No idea. This stuff just pops in my head as I need it.”

“Oh really.” Changmin turns to his guilty looking servant. Whether it’s because he’s been caught sneaking or because of what Yoochun just said, Changmin isn’t sure. “And do you have this ability as well, clueless one?”

Jaejoong shakes his head, “I would love to tell you everything I’ve done was a plan to embarrass you after you somehow made me your servant, but it really wasn’t. I could take credit for it if you like though. You want to punish me when we get back to your room?”

“Oh I already have things planned for you when we get back to my room,” Changmin tells him. Jaejoong smirks, “Is that a promise?”

“You two be quiet. The performers are here and I’m looking forward to seeing a show I’m not the star of for once,” Junsu shushes them.

At the mention of performers, Jaejoong perks up, forgetting he was just negotiating his torture with Changmin. “What kind of performers?” he asks. Changmin pushes him back behind his chair before Junsu can answer. “Go back to your spot servant. You aren’t needed up here.” Jaejoong sticks his tongue out but actually listens and stands behind the chair.

Junsu answers him anyways. “They’re jesters. I’m not sure what they do really. I think sing and dance; try to make me laugh or something like that.”

And with that, they all sit quietly, except for the occasional giggle from Yoochun’s lady, waiting for the performance to start. The jesters are dressed in bright purple and gold silks, with gold hose and horrible hats that actually have bells attached to the end. And Changmin thought his outfit looked ridiculous. As long as they don’t start telling Junsu’s jokes, he tells himself, it might be an okay performance. But then the leader of their troupe comes forward and Changmin doesn’t even bother trying to stop Jaejoong from pushing between him and Junsu. “Is that?” he asks. Changmin can only nod. From his other side, he hears Yoochun’s voice just as the lights go down, “Well guys, I think we found Yunho.”

When he opens his eyes next, he’s waking up on a hard floor and he definitely isn’t still at the court about to watch Yunho perform. Which sucks, because he really wanted to see Yunho dance around in those tights. He turns over and sees Jaejoong sitting beside him, poking his side. This rude awakening better not turn into a routine. He groans and sits up. “Where are we now?”

Yunho’s voice answers him from the other side. “Don’t know really. We all woke up just before you did.”

“If this is a dream, shouldn’t it be over now?” Changmin asks. Junsu and Yoochun are sitting across from him on the other side of what appears to be a cage. Jaejoong is still hovering over him and Yunho is sitting with his back to the bars on the other side. This is not an ideal situation.

“Apparently your mind has other places to take us. Why you couldn’t pick a better place than this, I don’t know,” Jaejoong tells him.

“Shut up underling.”

Jaejoong sticks out his tongue, but doesn’t say anything else. Changmin takes another look at the others, noticing that like him, they are barely clothed. But even with the minimal clothing he’s still much too warm. And he hates that.

“It’s hot.”

Yoochun is laid out in the corner now, but lifts his head for a minute to study Changmin. “Take some clothes off then.”

“Then I’d be naked.”

“I’m okay with that.”

Changmin wants to give him a kick in the side but decides that would take too much energy in this heat. So he settles for throwing a little dirt Yoochun’s way. Unfortunately, loose dirt is not very aerodynamic and it lands on Junsu instead. Junsu picks up his own handful of dirt and is about to toss it back when Yunho’s voice reigns them in.

“Play nice you two. We need to figure out where we are now before you start throwing dirt and getting everyone dirty. Who knows, we might be in one of those places where they only take baths once a year or something. And I don’t want to have to smell Changmin for the rest of the year if today is the day we took our bath.”

“Hey! Why single me out? Everyone else would be dirty too!”

Yunho gives him a look. “Because you sweat the most, remember? You mention it almost every time we get interviewed around a concert; like it’s an apology for the sweat or something.”

Jaejoong is laughing at him. Changmin wants to tell him to stuff it because he sweats almost as much but he knows Jaejoong will turn it back on him. He’s a tricky little thing when it comes to how he looks and smells. Changmin might have the higher IQ, but Jaejoong will always be able to figure out how he is the better looking one. He settles instead for looking around again, outside of their cage this time. The others also survey their surroundings, trying to figure out just where Changmin’s mind has landed them now.

“Looks like some sort of Indian thing to me,” Yoochun says finally.

Changmin gives him a look. “Indian thing?” he asks. It’s not very descriptive, and is about as helpful as Jaejoong was as his servant.

“Yeah,” Yoochun replies. “At my American school we had to do a project on Indians for history class. This looks Indianish.”

“Indianish? They teach you that word there too?”

“Be nice Changmin. Just because you get cranky when you’re hot doesn’t mean you can take it out on Yoochun’s English,” Yunho admonishes.

Junsu decides to add in his two cents before Changmin can think of a good retort for that. “I agree. At my kindergarten we had Indian day and what we’re wearing kind of looks like the costumes we had on then.” His thoughts though are met with four stares.

“You actually remember that?”

“Forget that! How does an Indian day in a Korean kindergarten, that’s actually just an excuse not to teach for the day, help us now?”

Junsu shrugs. “I was just saying that I agree with Yoochun. It does look Indianish.”

“In-mmph,” Jaejoong covers Changmin’s mouth before he can even get the word out. “Yunho told you to be nice dongsaeng.”

“Okay,” Yunho picks up before anyone can say anything else, “So it looks like we’re Indians now. Yoochun, you seem to know the most, do you have any idea what’s going on?”

From where they’re sitting in their cage, they can see tents behind them and some sort of stone structure in front of them. From the sounds of cheering coming from the structure, Changmin is led to believe it’s a coliseum of some sort.

Yoochun shakes his head. “Uh, not really. That was the first year I was in the US and I didn’t really know what was going on. I just put on the costume some girl in my group made for me and made Indian noises. Everyone else did all the talking.”

Jaejoong yelps all of a sudden and the other three turn to see what’s wrong, while Changmin just smiles. “What?” he asks when they see what looks suspiciously like tooth marks on Jaejoong’s hand, “I couldn’t breathe right.”

“Whatever,” Yunho says. “So our English expert knows nothing-”

“Hey! They aren’t speaking English here!” Yoochun interrupts.

“You’re still the one who was actually supposed to learn about them,” Yunho replies. “Now all we know is that we may be Indians this time around.”

Junsu stands up all of a sudden, looking towards the stone structure in front of them. “Not for much longer. I see a guy coming over our way. Act natural,” he tells them.

Jaejoong gives him a look. “Act natural? We’re half naked, wearing feathers and sitting in a cage. How is that natural?”

Junsu ignores him and whispers, “Sshhh! He’s here!”

The man in front of them is huge. Changmin hopes they aren’t supposed to fight him or something. That guy is way too big for him to take. Yunho and Yoochun’s martial arts skills might get them somewhere, Jaejoong could probably charm him with his looks, and Junsu could stun him with bad jokes, but Changmin’s got nothing. Maybe it will be a team effort. Between the five of them they might be able to take this giant of a man down.

But all of his planning proves unnecessary. The man only says one word.


“Hey he speaks Korean!”

“Who’s not being quiet now Junsu?” Yoochun asks.

“Well he did,” is Junsu’s muttered reply.

“It was one word,” Changmin tells him.

“And it was in Korean. I didn’t say how well he speaks it, just that he does.”

“Oh and round one goes to Junsu. Mark this down the books people, it doesn’t happen often,” Jaejoong crows.

“Be quiet slave.”

Jaejoong scowls. “Servant. I was your servant.”

Yunho sighs. The huge Indian man is just watching them and those two are going to start picking at each other again. He supposes it is inevitable. They haven’t been able to for so long that they have to make up for it now. He looks over to Yoochun, who just shrugs, and Junsu, who looks like he’s about to say something. He decides to hold off on halting this one. Whatever Junsu is about to say should be worth it. He can just feel it.

“Hey Changmin is your mind racist?”

Definitely worth it. Yunho will never understand how Junsu’s mind works, but it works in some funny ways. Changmin looks stunned at Junsu’s revelation, only able to squeak out a, “What?”

“Well, everyone speaks Korean. We were in England just a few minutes ago,” in the background Changmin hears Jaejoong muttering ‘so that is where we were’ but Junsu ignores him and continues, “and everyone spoke Korean. And I’m not even sure if they had heard of Korea yet. And now, this guy speaks Korean too.”

“He spoke one word. And it’s a dream. I’m sure in your dreams you speak perfect Japanese. And Yoochun hyung is able to speak English like he never forgot half of it,” Changmin replies.

Yoochun wants to complain that he hasn’t forgotten half, but Junsu beats him to it. “Yeah maybe. But we’re still speaking other languages aren’t we?”

They all sit in stunned silence for a minute after Junsu finishes before Jaejoong bounces over to give him a high five. “That’s twice in one day! Have you been practicing or something?” Even Yunho is laughing at Changmin’s loss against Junsu’s logic. He decides they need to redirect their attention. Back to the huge man outside their cell, standing there with his hands practically on his hips and tapping his foot.

“Laugh all you want, there’s still Goliath out there waiting to eat us or something. I’m voting for Junsu first. The hindquarters should be especially thick and tasty,” he tells them.

“Oh don’t think we’re going to forget this one that easy Changminnie,” Jaejoong teases.

“Quiet!” Obviously, big, tall, and ugly has had enough of their chatter. “You follow,” he commands.

Then he opens the cage and although Changmin wants to make a run for it, he obediently follows wherever they’re being led to. Despite the fact that he was just picking at Junsu a few minutes ago, he can’t help but stay so close that he’s practically walking on his heels now. Junsu is the one that likes scary movies after all. He should be prepared for anything.

They follow their captor to the inside of the stadium, which is filled to the brim with people. The stone forms bleachers for the crowd on the sides, ending in walls of stone six meters high that surround a dirt playing field. There are rings attached near the top of the wall and the players on the field are playing what looks like soccer, with the rings as goals and just as little clothing as they have on.

“You play. No hands,” They’re told.

“Well that explains everything so clearly,” Jaejoong says dryly, “Hey Changmin, are the Indians Neanderthals in your mind? He only speaks one or two words at a time. So not only are you racist, as Junsu pointed out, but you think you’re superior or something.”

“Jaejoong, be quiet,” Yunho tells him quickly before Changmin can reply. Jaejoong’s still been itching for a fight but now is really not the time to be taking it out on Changmin. They can beat each other up later. Yunho will even provide the boxing gloves if they want them. Right now, they have to focus on whatever it is they’re supposed to be playing.

Junsu’s face lights up as he watches the players currently on the field. “It’s soccer! This might not be so bad guys. We get to play soccer!’ Junsu is starting to bounce around in anticipation. Jaejoong is already trying to figure out a way to get out of it. He doesn’t mind just playing futsal in the grass, but this looks a little more serious. And Jaejoong and serious sports competitions have never mixed very well.

Changmin is watching the team already down on the dirt and remembers a history program he saw one day when he was bored and flipping through channels. “Hey guys,” the other four turn to look at him, “I think I saw something on this game before.”

“And…” Yoochun prompts.

“Well…” Changmin pauses, “if it’s the same game, it is kind of like soccer. But it’s a much more dangerous version of soccer.” Junsu pauses in the middle of his bouncing. “How exactly?” he asks.

“They kill the losers.”

Junsu’s jaw drops. Jaejoong starts earnestly looking for a way out of this. Yoochun is looking a little more alert than before, and even Yunho is looking nervous. Some fearless leader he is.

“It’s a religious sort of thing. The losers get sacrificed or something like that,” Changmin tells them. “So maybe we were better off in England with the Junsuism.”

“Shit. Can’t win either way,” Jaejoong mutters.

Their guide is tapping his foot again. They talk too much for his liking.

“Time to play.”

“Could we take a rain check perhaps?” Yoochun asks.

“Play or die,” is their only reply.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“Okay guys, come here,” Yunho pulls them all together quickly. “Listen, we’re going to have to play. So let’s just play. I don’t know what the rules are exactly, but just do your best. Dong bang fighting and all that. Hopefully that myth about dying in your dreams and dying in real life really is a myth. We might just be testing it out in a while. Since it’s Changmin’s dream, we’ll send him first, don’t worry.” Yunho ignores the indignation from Changmin and continues on with his (questionably) motivating speech. “Let’s just focus on getting rid of the other players. If we take some of them out or something, that’s less of them to challenge us while we figure out how to score. Got it?”

Four heads slowly nod, knowing that they barely stand a chance, but Yunho’s plan is unfortunately the best they’ve got. They walk slowly down to the dirt field, for once unmoved by the cheers of the crowd.

At first, the Indians dominate the game. But Junsu’s competiveness should never be underestimated. And while Yoochun can be very laid back, he’s a quick learner and good with sports. Yunho of course, picks it up quickly as well. Jaejoong just sticks to tripping other players, even if the crowd keeps booing him. He’d rather live than be liked around here. Changmin helps out as much as he can; staying away from Yunho so as to avoid a repeat of the last time they played futsal. Slowly they start to gain the edge. It might have something to do with all the players Jaejoong has managed to take out, but all that matters to them is that they are in the lead.

Over two hours later the game is finally finished. “We won! We won!” Junsu is skipping around, jumping on them all. Changmin’s not sure where the energy is coming from, but he can’t help but smile. They’re safe. And hopefully this nightmare of a dream will be over soon. Junsu is jumping on Yoochun now and Yunho has his arm around the tired Jaejoong, who actually might be their MVP for this game. They pull Changmin into a group hug and he’s reminded for a minute just why he wished for them all to be together again.

Their moment is rudely interrupted however when their earlier guide shoves them back toward the stairs. “Walk,” is all he tells them.

“You think they’re going to have an award ceremony or something?” Junsu asks. Yoochun laughs at his question while Changmin looks around. He finds it odd that the other team looks happy. Are the people around here happy to be sacrificed or something?

“Hey guys, the other team looks pretty happy for dead men don’t you think?” he asks the others. They all turn in making their way up the stairs to look. Yunho is the first to respond, “Yeah, they do look pretty happy. Are you sure the losers get sacrificed Changmin?”

He nods. “Yeah in the one I program I saw they said the losers got sacrificed. But…”

“But what?” Yoochun cuts in.

“Well, like I said, it was a religious ceremony. And it said that usually the losers were the ones sacrificed. But I think it said that in some tribes, the winners were. It was kind of like being a suicide bomber. Honor in being the one to die and all that.”

“So you’re telling me we just gave it everything we had in that game and we might be the ones getting sacrificed because of it?!” Jaejoong’s voice is a little shrill as he stares Changmin down. By now, they’ve come to a stop at the top of stadium, on some sort of platform.

“They can’t be sacrificing me! I was just the king, the one in charge! I’m divine and all that crap! And that game was fun! You can’t play one of the best games of your life and then get killed. How are you supposed to learn how to play without Jaejoong hyung cheating the whole time if you get killed right after?” Three incredulous stares and one indignant one turn to Junsu as he puts on his best innocent face. “What? I liked the game. It was fun.”

Yunho can’t help shaking his head and smiling at Junsu. No matter what, he’s always the one that can make them smile.

“Hey I have an idea,” Yoochun says suddenly. “This is a dream world right? I mean how else do you explain making Junsu king and us wearing these weird outfits, right?” Changmin would like to say weird outfits could be explained by their stylists, but he decides now is not the time. Yoochun continues, “We were talking about dying in a dream world and in real life earlier, but isn’t it also that if you get hit or something you wake up?”

Jaejoong’s eyes light up. “Good idea, Changmin come here!” Yunho has to put a hand between the two as Jaejoong tries to one-touch Changmin back to consciousness. “I don’t think that’s really going to work Yoochun. He would have woken up when we were playing that game if it did.”

“Maybe it takes something more violent?” Junsu chimes in. “Like if we pushed him down the stairs or something?”

Changmin cannot believe they’re calmly planning to maim him to try and save themselves. Some hyungs they are. He opens his mouth to tell them all exactly how horrible they are when a shadow falls over them all. Big, tall, and ugly is back.

“Oh shit,” Yunho’s grip on Jaejoong loosens as they all turn to look at the man who is about to drag one of them off to be sacrificed. Or so they assume. He is making no move to take one of them but Changmin decides to be pre-emptive on this one. Maybe Goliath is thinking they’ll come of their own free will. And as Jaejoong is standing right in front of him, that makes him a perfect target. Changmin quickly whispers in his ear as he’s shoving him forward, “Well hyung, it was nice knowing you. Since you’re the oldest, you can go first. Be the hero. Save your dongsaengs. We’ll always remember you fondly. Age before beauty and all that too.”

Jaejoong is too stunned at first to protest being shoved towards the giant, but he digs in his feet as soon as he realizes what’s going on. “Hey! Who said I wanted to be the hero?”

“It is your name hyung,” Yoochun adds in from the back. It’s nice to know Yoochun’s backing him up on this one, Changmin thinks. Jaejoong is still squirming, but they’re right in front of the giant now and he reaches out to take Jaejoong. Changmin has to admit, it does upset him a little at that moment to see the huge man grab his hyung. Despite all of their picking at each other, he really does love and respect his hyung. But then Jaejoong ruins it.

“Hey! You said age before beauty. Are you saying that you look better than me?”

If there was ever a moment for a headdesk, this would be one. “Way to focus on what’s important hyung,” he says. Jaejoong is about to retort when suddenly there are four more huge men grabbing the rest of them and Changmin is jerked forward sharply. He wants to protest the rough treatment, but all he knows is black.

For the third time that night, Changmin finds himself drifting in and out of sleep. He is starting to wonder if this really is a dream. Beside him, he hears movement, and decides to open his eyes to see where he has ended up this time. When he does, however, he has to immediately close them so he won’t be found out. He can’t risk breaking into giggles and being one-touched for the hundredth time since this whole thing started. He could have sworn from his brief glimpse that Jaejoong was standing beside him, and he was wearing a white skirt. A rather short, white skirt. The sight is just too tempting though, and he opens his eyes up for another peek. That’s definitely Jaejoong in a skirt. Actually, it looks more like a dress, possibly a Greek robe, but Changmin doesn’t really care. He’s too concentrated on Jaejoong’s legs. So concentrated is he, in fact, that he doesn’t notice those legs turning around until it’s too late. He’s been caught.

“Why hello my dear. You’re finally awake,” Jaejoong’s smile looks dangerous. Changmin doesn’t think he’s going to like this particular place better than the other two he’s been in so far. Jaejoong sounds far too smug.

“Glad you finally decided to join us. You have a job to do, now get up Changminnie.”

“And what exactly is my job?”

“You,” Jaejoong comes closer to poke him in the chest, “get to serve me now.”

“Serve you?”

“Yes my little underling. Now get up already. You’re making me miss the party,” Jaejoong tells him.

Changmin looks around, trying to figure out just what he’s supposed to wear this time. Jaejoong sees this and laughs, “Oh no, I don’t have any clothes for you this time. Servants around here go naked you know.” Changmin stares at his hyung. He wants him to go naked? Completely naked? This is like one of those public speaking dreams where you’re naked in front of everyone. Except not. Because Changmin does not have those sorts of dreams. His dreams involving nakedness are much better. Usually.

“Changmin, I already told you once that you’re making me miss the party. So hurry up already. Strip. You’re under me this time. Not literally of course. While I would normally be all for that, you haven’t seen Yunho here. I’d much rather be in his pants; his metaphorical pants of course, since he isn’t wearing any . It’s just that short little toga that leaves his lovely legs all uncovered, and even shows off some of that lovely back he has.” Jaejoong continues to ramble about Yunho’s legs, his arms, his back, his face, and pretty much his whole body while Changmin sits quietly, wondering if he can distract Jaejoong with thoughts of Yunho so that he’ll forget Changmin should be naked.

Eventually though, Changmin has to cut off the rambling. There is only so much gushing over Yunho that he can take. “So why exactly do I have to be your servant? Wasn’t there anyone else available?”

“Well yeah. It was either me, or…him.” Jaejoong points through the doorway of the room they’re sitting in. “See him, out there, right in the corner?” Jaejoong is pointing to a balding man whose toga looks more like a sweat-stained yellow than the pristine white it should be. He looks up as Jaejoong points him out and smiles at Changmin. Half of his teeth are missing.

“Alright. You win this one,” he concedes.

“Oh or you could have joined Yoochun’s little harem,” Jaejoong adds. “He’s already managed to collect quite a few girls and some boys too. He’s even got Junsu.”

Changmin shudders at the thought of joining that. The Yoosu is bad enough, add in all the others fawning over Yoochun and it would just make him sick. He’ll pass on that one too. It looks like Jaejoong might really be his best option. “What about Yunho hyung? He’s obviously around here somewhere since you’re fawning over him.”

Jaejoong replies shortly, “I already told you. He’s mine. Like I’m going to let you distract him with your nakedness.”

“Are you admitting that you wouldn’t stand a chance against me, hyung?” Changmin asks dryly.

“Shut up servant boy. You would have an unfair advantage, being naked and all.”

“So why not make yourself his servant? Then you could distract him with your nakedness.”

This thought makes Jaejoong pause, “I didn’t think of that. Too late now though. I’ll just have to stick to my plan of getting him drunk and then getting in those deliciously metaphorical pants.”

“Hyung, you’re drooling.”

Jaejoong brings up a hand to wipe his mouth, scowling when he find nothing there. Changmin laughs, but Jaejoong tells him, “Oh just you wait. You’ll be gushing too when you see him. Now hurry up and strip, Junsu needs your help with the wine.”

Changmin scowls. And here he had thought his plan of distracting Jaejoong was going perfectly well. He should have remembered his boomerang tendencies. He is just starting to take off his clothes when suddenly blackness once again envelopes him.

When Changmin wakes up the next time, he thinks to himself that he’s starting to get the hang of this strange dream. Things are moving along a bit quicker now and he hopes that means he’s closer to waking up. This dream is just rather weird altogether. He loves his hyungs and all, he really does, but he can’t take much more of being in the past with them. Yoochun’s girls are getting annoying, Jaejoong is one-touching way harder than normal, Junsu is acting smart, and Yunho… well he isn’t doing much of anything.

After a few minutes of collecting his thoughts, Changmin sits up and takes a look around. He’s the first one awake for once and it looks like they’re camping outdoors this time. With the bugs and all that entails he thinks, as he watches a grasshopper crawl on Yoochun’s head. He really hopes the grasshopper keeps moving. He doesn’t feel like hearing Yoochun scream when he wakes up to find it on his head, as funny as that might be.

Thankfully, the grasshopper moves on and crisis is averted. The others wake up soon after and they start to discuss where they have ended up this time. Junsu is the first to offer his opinion.

“It looks American, don’t you think?”

Everyone is suddenly staring at Yoochun and he puts up his hands in protest. “How am I supposed to know?” he asks.

“Maybe if we pack up and take a look around we’ll be able to tell more about where we are.”

“Ever sensible, our leader is,” Jaejoong agrees. Changmin thinks he might still be trying to get into Yunho’s, now, not so metaphorical pants since his earlier plans were spoiled, but he has to admit the plan is a good one.

“Sound good to me,” Yoochun also agrees. “Let’s pack up then and head towards town. Does anyone happen to know how to take down this tent?”

An hour and a few bruises later, the tent is stored. Hopefully they really will move on from this place soon. The tent has a few more holes than it started with and it is rather haphazardly stored. It’s the best they can do though and they head off towards what looks to be a town in the distance. As they walk, they take a good look for the first time at their current costumes. They are wearing what looks like uniforms, in a rather dull gray.

Junsu is the first to comment on them. “Looks kind of like military uniforms.”

“Oh great. Do you think I can count this for my military service?” Jaejoong jokes.

“Don’t think that’s going to work hyung. Hey Yoochun, do you have any ideas on when we are?” Junsu asks.

Yoochun thinks for a moment before answering. “I think it might be the American Revolution. That’s the only war I remember learning about in history that was actually in America.”

Changmin tilts his head in confusion. “Are you sure that’s the only one? I was thinking there was another one too.”

Yoochun gives him a superior look. “You may be smart Changmin-ah, but who is the one who took American history in America?”

Changmin shrugs. “If you say so hyung. At least we’re moving forward in time. Maybe we’ll eventually get back to the present.”

“Well if someone would just wake up…” Jaejoong leaves his sentence hanging. Changmin does not deign it worthy of a response.

They walk in silence for the next few minutes but as they reach the edge of town they start to hear yelling and gunshots. They look at each other apprehensively but keep heading into town. They’ve already almost been sacrificed, this can’t be much worse than that. The sounds increase and as they get closer to the center of the city they start to see people. These people must be on their side since they aren’t attacking them, which is the only positive to their situation.

“What do you think we should do? Keep going or head back out of town?” Yunho asks when they reach a crossroads.

“Not much we can do about it now,” Changmin says, “The enemy is already here. They’d catch us if we tried to go back out. Maybe we should find some cover though. We are just walking down the middle of the street with gunshots all around us.” The others agree but before they can find cover they see a group of men coming down the street wearing different uniforms. Yoochun is the first to react.

“Shit! The French are here!” he yells. “Everyone hide! The French are coming! The French are coming!” Around them, the townspeople stop running to stare at the crazy man yelling about the French, but Yoochun just keeps yelling.

“But hyung, I thought it was…”

“Now is not the time to argue dongsaeng,” Yoochun cuts off Changmin, “Those damn redcoats are coming, we need to get prepared.”

“But they’re wearing bl-“

“Quiet!” Yoochun hushes him and leads them behind a building, where they can peek out and watch as soldiers start racing past them in blue uniforms. The soldiers are lighting buildings on fire and generally causing mayhem. Changmin can only hope they get out of this one quickly. Or at least before the power of having everyone listening to him goes to Yoochun’s head.

“Hey Yoochun?”

“Yeah Junsu?” he turns to look at Junsu, who is behind him trying to figure out how to best bring up the subject of the non-redcoat soldiers rushing past.

“Those guys out there are wearing blue uniforms. Are you sure this is the American Revolution? You were just yelling about redcoats and all but I haven’t seen any red yet.”

“Yes I’m sure,” Yoochun is starting to get annoyed with all this questioning of his authority. “I did learn American history at an American school. I think I have a little better idea of what’s going on here than you guys. In fact, I’m pretty sure this is the Boston Tea Party. It wasn’t a very big battle, so if we just lay low we should be fine.”

Jaejoong looks confused. “I thought this was a war? What’s a tea party have to do with it?”

“It’s war, nothing makes sense,” is Yoochun’s only answer.

Changmin has to add in his own discrepancy as well, “That sign back there said Charleston though.”

Yoochun turns to answer, but suddenly there is an explosion beside them and everything goes black again.

The next thing Changmin knows, he’s sitting behind a tree and all around him he can hear explosions. The other four are crowded around him, peeking out from behind the tree in-between explosions to see what’s happening.

“I thought we were supposed to be leaving the war behind?” he asks them.

“Didn’t Yoochun say it was a tea party?”

Yoochun looks cross over their distrust in his version of American history but keeps his mouth shut. Now is not the time. He’ll prove he’s right later. Right now though, Jaejoong is acting weird and deserves their attention. He’s looking around frantically and Junsu puts a hand on his shoulder to try to calm him.

“This looks familiar. Like I’ve been here before,” he tells them while continuing to look around.

Changmin peeks out again from behind his tree to try and see what’s so familiar. “Hey guys,” he says, “those soldiers out there all look Korean.”

“Korean?” Yunho looks out again, like he doesn’t believe what Changmin’s telling them. They’ve been all around the world, but nowhere near Korea in this strange dream trip.

“Guys,” Jaejoong is speaking again, “I think we’re in Taegukgi.”

Yoochun stares at him in disbelief. And they thought his version of history was screwy. “What? Hyung, that’s a movie. We can’t be in a movie.”

“Well that’s what it looks like. I’m just saying.”

They sit in silence for a minute before Junsu asks, “So what should we do hyung? Those explosions are getting closer.”

Jaejoong looks at them all with wide eyes. “How am I supposed to know?”

“You were in the movie!” The explosions are almost on top of them now.

“A movie! It was a movie! Fake blood, fake weapons, nobody died! All I had to do was run over a hill!”

The next explosion is right beside them and everything goes black again.

For the sixth time that night, Changmin opens his eyes and finds that he has still not returned to his own bed. This time, he’s in what looks like a ready room, surrounded by people. A stylist is brushing makeup on his face and he thinks to himself that he’s finally where he wanted to be when he mentioned going back to the past. Now he just has to hope they can figure out what song they’re supposed to be singing before they have to go on stage. Yunho is sitting beside him and so he turns to talk to him.

“Hey hyung, happy my mind has finally taken us somewhere familiar?”

Yunho is silent for a moment before he replies, “What?”

“You know, somewhere familiar. After all the war, nakedness, and confusion, I would think you would be happy.” Changmin responds. He thinks he hears someone asking if he’s lost his mind and laughter in the background, but he ignores it and continues talking to Yunho. “So do you have any idea of when we are now? It would be good to figure out what song we have to sing before we go on stage.”

The other three are in front of him now and all four of them are looking at him with confusion. After a minute Junsu asks, “You don’t know what song we’re supposed to be doing?”

Changmin shakes his head, wondering if all of a sudden he is actually in the past and the others don’t remember the rest of their journey. He hears whispering and giggling, but the other four aren’t talking. This is getting confusing now. Then Yoochun tells him, “We’re doing a special performance today- Kara’s ‘Mister.’” More laughing, but he doesn’t see anyone around him laughing.

“Mister?” he asks. He really doesn’t want to do that song. He’s seen all of their half naked butts recently, and he doesn’t want to think of the images that will come to mind when he combines that with Mister’s butt dance.

“Yep, so start swinging those hips baby. You need Junsu to show you how?” Okay now he’s really confused. Yes, the others are smiling as they tease him, but he definitely hears laughter. “What-“ he starts.

And suddenly, he’s awake. All around him he hears laughing and he sees the source of his rude awakening is Jaejoong, who is flopped all over him. Yoochun is on the floor, wiping away tears and Junsu has fallen on top of him. And Yunho is holding that cake again.

“What-“ he tries to ask again, still trying to clear his fuzzy mind. Yunho puts the cake down and pats his head consolingly. “Dongsaeng, you have some weird dreams.” The other three are starting to pull themselves together and Changmin gets suddenly that it all really was a dream. And that they were actually talking to him at the end. At least he hopes it was just the end. They really didn’t need to hear all of that. Damn sleeptalking habit.

“I know you said you didn’t want any cake earlier,” Yunho tells him, “but then these three showed up at the door holding their own cake and it wasn’t like I could really turn them away. We tried to wake you up, but you just started talking to us instead.”

Jaejoong, who has finally pulled himself up off of Changmin smiles and ruffles his hair. Changmin resists the urge to one-touch him; despite the fact that it was just a dream, he’s been hit enough for one night. “Yeah, you started talking so we played along. But now you’re awake, so it’s time to make a wish and cut the cake!”

Yoochun produces some matches and they quickly light the candles and gather around to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to the still stunned Changmin. But when they tell him to blow out the candles and make a wish, he remembers his lesson. He takes a minute to think and then blows out the candles all in one breath.

“So Changminnie, think your wish will come true?” Junsu asks.

“I hope so. This time I was very specific.” he tells them. They give him weird looks but choose to ignore his odd choice of words and proceed to start arguing over whether they should cut the cake or smash it in Changmin’s face. They do have a backup cake after all. Changmin doesn’t even bother protesting when they finally decide the cake should go all over his face, his hair, and wherever else Jaejoong can reach. He just laughs and plays along. Because this time he really has gotten his wish. And it’s the best birthday present ever.